10 Ways to Avoid Caregiver Stress During the Holidays

10 Ways to Avoid Caregiver Stress During the Holidays - MalaysiaCaregiving Support

10 Ways to Avoid Caregiver Stress During the Holidays

Stress during the holiday season is common for any caregiver. Here are 10 ways you can prevent or minimise caregiver stress this time of the year.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as the song goes. While many families are looking forward to the holiday season, not everyone may have the luxury of taking the festivities in the same way. For caregivers looking after family members who are ill, the holidays are a stressful time to prepare for, especially withCOVID-19still persisting. How do you get into the holiday spirit when you are caring for someone whose condition constantly troubles their thoughts?

Why Caregiver Stress is Heightened During the Holidays

It can be stressful thinking about holiday preparations, let alone trying to instil a festive mood in the house, especially when someone is ill and cannot feel the same way. Where the holidays were something to look forward to in the past, having an illness – chronic or otherwise – only puts a damper on their mood. These occasions may stir up different emotions, such as worry, anxiety, deep sadness, nostalgia or even anger.

As a caregiver, balancing their needs with a desire to promote some festive cheer can be a challenging task. As it is, you have to take care of their health needs, monitor their progress, be alert for unexpected emergencies, and have to bear with an emotional roller-coaster when communication breaks down. In time, all of it can start to affect you adversely, and eventually, you will find it hard to feel cheerful at all.

And that isn’t the last of it, either: there are festive meals to prepare for, relatives to reconnect with, gifts to pick for loved ones – the list goes on. With so many demands and so few resources to draw on, it can start to get overwhelming. Already having to deal with a tricky situation at home can leak into these other activities, and you may not realise that both your energy and mood have taken a major hit. As it all compounds, you might begin to feel severely burned out and it soon starts to show.

It becomes important that you find ways to help you navigate the holiday season, while also putting priority on your own wellbeing in order to best take care of your loved one. We hope these 10 tips will be helpful in managing your stress, your health, and looking after your loved one’s needs – all without having to fuss and fret over the holidays, and enjoying them while surrounded by family and friends.

Prioritise Self-Care

It can be very easy to lose sight of your own well-being, especially when your schedule is packed with activities and the stress is slowly building up. It, therefore, becomes crucial that you take time for yourself to relax and recuperate so as to not burn yourself out. Before you ask if it might be selfish to do so, you should know that taking care of yourself and putting your needs first is never a selfish thing to do. If anything, doing so helps improve your caregiving by leaps and bounds. One obvious benefit is that you are not pushing yourself too much that your caregiving abilities are negatively affected, which will inadvertently influence the care and condition of your loved one.

Caring for oneself can be as simple as sitting down for a five-minute break, making yourself a delicious beverage that you can enjoy on your own, listening to your favourite music, or taking a nice, long warm shower. If it helps, you can set aside “me-time” sessions where you focus on regaining your strength and maintaining your composure; setting aside these sessions can go a long way to making you feel better while helping you cope with the responsibilities of caregiving. Consider meditation and mindfulness practise as well to help you stay ahead of the stress and be more in tune with yourself.

Set aside some time in your weekly schedule for these “me-time” sessions; maybe 20 minutes will be enough time for you to do any number of activities to recharge your batteries. If you think a longer time would work better for you, go ahead with it. You should remember that it is not selfish to look out for yourself, nor are you neglecting your responsibilities at all.

Have a Support System

The comfort and warmth that comes from familial love can help you through the hard times. Getting their help can lift a huge burden off your shoulders – whether it might be sharing caregiving responsibilities, cooking for festive occasions, or just having a shoulder to lean on. With their invaluable assistance, you will be able to focus on other tasks that need to be done or even to have a breather while they help you out around the house. Be sure not to saddle them with too much to do; discuss with them what they can do to help, and where their skills can be best put to use.

Support groups are an additional support option you can seek out. Finding communities of people who share similar stories can be both eye-opening and rewarding. You get to mingle with others who have similar stories or faced similar situations, and from these shared moments you can form new bonds of friendship and mutual understanding that can help see you through tough times.

Communication and Empathy

Communication is a two-way street, something many people seem to take for granted. It can be difficult to remember, though, especially when you have to deal with unpleasant situations that suddenly crop up. It is best to deal with these situations carefully; ignoring the problem will not make it disappear, and angrily confronting it can only escalate matters further.

Communicating with your loved ones is very important to avoid these unpleasant circumstances. Communicate your feelings and concerns about preparing for the holidays, and be sure to listen to what they have to say as well. You know very well that you are doing your best, but even you have limitations; make it known that you are willing to compromise, but at the same time be realistic about expectations and outcomes. Sometimes it can be a little tough trying to find a middle ground that is agreeable, but as long as there is empathy and understanding for one another, it becomes easier to navigate the holidays together. It might even help give some closure to strained relations or form healthy respect for each other’s struggles and predicaments.

For the care recipient, they may not be in the holiday spirit because of their health or other reasons. The least you can do is to be empathetic to how they feel, and thus you should speak to them on how you can help them cope with the festive times when they are not feeling their best. That way, they will feel that they are loved and understood, and can help you with managing their feelings and needs when the festivities begin.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is perfectly normal, as a caregiver, to experience a variety of feelings and emotions. It could be nostalgia tinged with melancholy or a longing for a return to “better days.” Whatever it may be, bottling these feelings up and keeping them hidden away is not going to help you weather the holiday blues. If anything, it is likely to make things a lot more unbearable for yourself.

Instead, acknowledge what you are experiencing, both the good and the bad. The emotions you feel are valid, and only reinforce the fact that you are only human and are doing the very best with what you have in hand. Be mindful of how you feel, stay calm and try to understand why you are feeling this way. Accept that this is only a temporary thing and that it will soon subside.

It can also help to talk it out with someone you trust. Being able to share your feelings can help lift your spirits, and maybe even learn something new from them.

Get Organised

Planning ahead before the holidays is also a good way to greatly reduce caregiver stress. While some might think that anything goes, having some organisation in your holiday preparation blueprint can be more beneficial than one might think. It may be true that the best of plans do not always work out, but at least you know what to get done first and act on it, instead of panicking when everything falls apart.

There might be special occasions that you might want to celebrate or observe during the holidays. Having a plan ensures that you can be able to fit them into your schedule without having to give up something in return. Being adaptable to any changes that can happen will also make it easier for you to get things done with little fuss. For this, having a Plan B (or more) in place if Plan A doesn’t work out can prove to be a boon.

Adjust Expectations

It does seem like a lot to take in when you think about holiday prep. However, you do not have to feel daunted by the tasks that lay ahead of you. You are only one person, after all. Even with the help of family members, making it a team of four or five, there is only so much that you can do in the time you have. In between all the arrangements being made, you might forget a thing or two, or something goes awry despite your best efforts.

Before you start worrying about things that have yet to happen, take a deep breath, count to 5, then exhale. While it is natural to have high expectations of the holiday season, thinking to yourself that all the lofty ideas in your head are attainable is a little bit much; sometimes small can mean more. Be realistic about approaching the holidays; be mindful and in the present. While it can be easy to add a hundred things to your to-do list, you might need to look again and start trimming items off the list. Do any of those additions serve any real purpose? Will they detract from the experience of the holiday spirit with friends and family? It will be good to review your plans and simplify wherever you can.

Be sure to let your family know as well; communication is still vital, after all. The focus should be on coming together with love, joy and compassion during the holiday season.

Maybe you are worried about complaints from others on your taste in holiday decor, or how “simple” your festivities are. The solution is to blot out any negativity directed your way; you do not need to bother with that. Remind yourself that you are doing well to the best of your abilities, regardless of what others may think.

Focus on Meaning and Joy

It can be easy to forget the true meaning behind the holidays, especially when you are too busy to even think about it. Once you have adjusted your expectations to be more realistic, you can be less concerned about perfecting the family’s holiday experience and emphasise all that is necessary to create wonderful memories together.

Consider scaling back on the festivities. Focus instead on occasions that are more meaningful to your family, or have smaller but equally meaningful meals instead of full-size spreads. There are various ways you can tailor your holiday plans without losing sight of what the holidays mean to you and your loved ones. The added benefit is not having to worry about the hassle of making preparations or cleaning up after it is all said and done.

While you are thinking of ways to make the most of the holidays, why not try new things with the family? Instead of cooking, go out to your family’s favourite dining place, or head to a restaurant that you’ve always wanted to try. Spice things up and have new experiences that you and your loved ones can all enjoy together. You never know what you might find in the process.

Have a Good Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine, and while it might not cure all ailments, it can definitely put you in a lighter mood. While there is nothing humorous about stress or your loved one’s ailments, being able to laugh and have light moments of humour can do wonders to improving your quality of life, and even contribute a little to that of your loved one’s as well. Studies have found that laughter helps to improve blood flow, build up the immune system, reduce blood pressure and even improve pain relief.

Laughter is a good coping mechanism for managing caregiver stress because sometimes you might find that even serious situations may have a humorous side to them if you look closely. There are always reasons to find that we can laugh about, even in stressful situations. Humour could even help to defuse tense situations and have everyone feel relief in sharing laughter together. It always helps tolighten upas best as we can, see the positives, and maybe find a punchline hiding in plain sight.

Practise Gratitude

It can seem rather difficult to feel grateful when the stress is not going away any time soon. There are days that leave you wondering how you got there in the first place and leave a feeling of resentment as well.

Practising gratitude is an encouragement to focus on what we have instead of what we don’t. It helps you examine closely the positives of being there for your family, through thick and thin. There are studies that have shown how gratitudeaffects a positive responsein our body, improving our wellbeing in more ways than one: stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure and markedly improved psychological health.

A gratitude journal can be a useful tool to have. With it, you can write down things you are grateful for on a daily basis, reminding you of what is important to you. Practising gratitude habitually is a known coping mechanism for caregiver stress, enabling you to count your blessings in spite of everything. It puts your focus on things you can control, instead of worrying about things out of your control. It also promotes a greater sense of optimism; whatever hurdles might get in your way, you know that all this shall pass.

Seek Help

Do not hesitate to seek professional help if you think you need it. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it; we are ordinary people doing our very best for the ones we care about. Depression and anxiety can become a limiting factor to your caregiving duties and beyond, and also take a toll on our physical and mental wellbeing. If you believe you are starting to show signs of caregiver burnout, it is best to consult a licensed therapist to help you overcome this hurdle.

It may be of some help to consider looking into respite care. It can be rather difficult to even think about putting your loved one in someone else’s care, but you should never put your own wellbeing aside, especially if you need it. We at can provide caregiving services for your loved ones every step of the way. Our trained care professionals are able to providecompanionship, nursing care, night caregiving, home therapy and moreto keep your loved ones active and engaged.

Provide the best care to your loved one today! Fill up the form below for a free consultation with our Care Advisory team.

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